Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
