I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Randomize