I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
