I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
