Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
