why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
