Christians are straight up FREAKS
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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