How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
porn star boner night. come get it.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
