Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
