ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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