Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
