Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize