If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
