my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
