I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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