dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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