What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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