escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Panties = found
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
