better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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