Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
