I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I am naked and annoyed.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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