I want to have your abortion
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I am naked and annoyed.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
