We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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