my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
