I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
