Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
