ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you didnt know i had herpes?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
there is glitter all over my balls
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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