Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
