I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
