How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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