There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
