my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
