just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
The air taste purple.
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