I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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