sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
My ATM looks so different sober.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
