Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
