sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
