so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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