from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize