My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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