Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
