i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
and you fell through a lawn chair
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
