Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
