it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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