do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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