1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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