i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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