i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
