Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
