I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Sext me about skeletons
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
