His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
