He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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