I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
