really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize