I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
