He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
