You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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