i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
