So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
