I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize