Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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