I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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