You're a womanizer and a bitch.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Randomize