We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
