He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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