my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
