theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
