Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
