I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Randomize
