I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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