I cockslap morals
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
