i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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