tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize