How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
