Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
bring money and cleavage
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
