Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
