tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
