hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
