Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
‎"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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